Team work makes the dream work!  My girls learned this phrase and they love to say it when they accomplish a hard task together.  I love hearing their little voices get excited at what they were able to do together.  I know the expression may feel cheesy, but man is it true!  Especially when it comes to our marriage!!

WHERE IT ALL STARTED

God really started driving this point home to me a few weeks ago.  You see, my hubby was getting ready to take a four day work trip to Boston.  This of course meant that I would be home with our 3 young kids by myself.  Yes, it is a lot easier when the hubby is here and can co-parent with me, but really, it’s okay.  I knew I would be tired at the end of each night, and our house would probably look a little disheveled (when doesn’t it?), but I would be fine.  I truly wasn’t upset at the thought of solo parenting for four days.

However, one night before he left, my husband started telling me about his conference.  He had his podcasts downloaded to listen to on the plane.  He would be able to sleep in a little a few mornings, and the company would be paying for his meals, so he would be able to check out some good Boston restaurants. 

And that’s when that ugly green monster called jealousy started to wage a war in my heart.  It went something like this, “He gets to go out to eat, and he doesn’t even have to pay for it!  I will probably be eating macaroni and cheese.  And he won’t be waking up to a crying toddler.  He even gets to sleep past 6.  When was the last time I got to sleep past 6!  And he has time to listen to podcasts!  It takes me a whole week to listen to one podcast because I am always being interrupted!  This is so not fair!”

And off my heart and mind went.  How many times in the past has this same type of scenario played out?  He gets something that I don’t.  I am left on the less glamorous side, changing diapers, cleaning dishes, and folding laundry.  It just seems unfair, right?

THE CHANGE

Well, a few days after the jealousy bug first crept into my heart, the Lord thankfully stepped in and gave me a healthy reminder.  One of my children was experiencing some jealousy over something their sibling got that they did not.  I was trying to explain to her that our family is a big team!  When one of the members of our team has something great happen, we all celebrate with them!!  When something is good for one of the members of our team, it’s good for all of us!  And as the words came out of my mouth, the Lord brought my husbands trip to my mind.  Ouch!  Why does the Lord have to use my parenting moments to parent me!!!  I realized right then that I was acting just like my child I was trying to correct!

I really had not spent hours struggling through this jealousy.  I wasn’t losing sleep because I was so upset.  It was really just a collection of passing thoughts.  But I really believe Satan uses these subtle thoughts and attitudes to start chipping away at our marriage little by little.  Because I had these jealous thoughts, I was holding back my encouragement and enthusiasm for what my husband was accomplishing at work!

That day, the Lord reminded me that my husband and I are a team!  And just like when we play a sport, when one of my teammates scores, it’s a score for the whole team!  This business trip for my husband was something he was excited to have the opportunity to do.  It was a score for him, therefore, I should have seen it as a score for me too!!  But instead, I let my heart entertain jealousy.  What a waste of my precious time!

I wish I could tell you I never thought another jealous thought about the situation, but in my experience Satan doesn’t give up that easily.  When he was gone, and the kids started acting crazy, I would be lying to you if I said those thoughts of jealousy didn’t spring back into my mind.  I used to beat myself up for even having that first wrong thought, but I realize now that those thoughts come from Satan and he will never stop trying to put a wedge between my husband and I.  The difference now is that God has revealed the problem to me and I have the freedom and choice to take those thoughts captive.   So instead of letting jealousy grow in my heart toward my husband, I chose to say no, and remind myself that a win for him is a win for me.

I still don’t make the right choice every time when it comes to jealousy, but when I do, I can see God’s blessing, and I can see the joy and peace it can bring to our whole family.  Has jealousy kept you from being your spouse’s biggest cheerleader?   Let me encourage you to take those jealous thoughts captive, pull your pom poms out and start cheering your man on!!

PRAYER

Lord, I pray for each women who reads this blog.  Please give them the wisdom to see where Satan’s lies may be causing them to act in jealousy instead of support.  Give us the strength and wisdom to put our selfishness aside, and cheer on our spouses!  Make each of our marriages strong, that we could show the world your love.