Learning to Abide in the Middle of Mothering

Learning to abide in Christ has always felt a little vague and overwhelming to me.  But these last few months has been changing that in the sweetest way.  This fall I began a study on John 15.  If you aren’t familiar with this chapter, you should go read it!  You may know it as the I am the vine, you are the branches section.  If you have grown up in the church like me, it may be easy to breeze by these verses as familiar. The true meaning may not sink in.  But let me share some of the freedom I have found after sitting in these verses for the last few months.

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The Heart of the Father

I have read and heard these verses many times growing up.  As I was reading them again this last month, the Lord revealed to me that I have always read these verses in the wrong tone!  Honestly, I have always felt like these verses were told in a “get it right, or else” kind of attitude.  I need to figure out the right steps to take so I can continue to abide in Christ. Then I won’t be one of the branches who dry up and get thrown into the fire.  So I will read my Bible, and pray, and do all the things in an effort to earn my connection to God.

I realized one day as I was reading through John 15 again, was that I had been reading these verse wrong all along.  In the Message version, the phrase “make your home in my love.” is used in this chapter.  I love this phrase because it reminded me of the heart of the Father.  Our Father is not a father of legalism, threats, or ultimatums.  He is the Father of love.  His heart is kind, loving, and true.  He in fact can not be anything else and still be God! 

When he tells his disciples to abide in him, he is walking with them after the Last Supper.  He knows that the end of his earthly life is near.  These words are the loving last words of a Father, not the disappointed ultimatum of a boss.  Take a minute just to breathe in that love!

My Yoke is Easy

Once the Lord revealed to me that his tone was one of a loving Father, I continued to ponder, what then does it mean to abide.  I don’t have an exhaustive list, and I am definitely still asking the Lord to teach me and grow me in this area of abiding.  But one thing that has continued to come back to me is the verses from Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Again, walking with the Lord and learning to abide did not feel light or easy to me.  You see I am an achiever.  I love to make my lists and accomplish my goals.  I can subconsciously start to believe that my value is connected to my achievements.  But God is not a taskmaster waiting for me to bring him awards so he can show me a moment of acceptance.  And what he really wants most is my love for Him!

I have become increasingly convinced that Jesus says his yoke is easy because what He really wants is for us to be filled with His love.  Yes, he does want me to obey, and read His Word, and love and serve the people around me.  But if I am not doing these things from a heart filled with God’s love, then I am doing them for me!  To earn approval or love or something for ME!  When I abide in God’s love.  When I make my home in his love, I allow myself to remember and fell the truth of His love for me and let that love flow through me.  And isn’t that so much lighter a load then working really, really hard to get it all right!

Learning to Abide in Motherhood- My Heart

So how does all this abiding practically happen?  I pray the Lord continues to show me and grow me in this area.  But here are a few things that are helping me.  First, I need to allow my heart to be connected with His love.  When I feel my emotions starting to go crazy, or my attitude going south, I have been trying to take a minute and close my eyes. 

I put my hand on my heart and picture Jesus loving me.  Maybe that means giving me a hug, maybe that means laughing with me, maybe that means walking and talking with him.  That part can be very individual, but I choose to be reminded of the truth of His love deep down in my heart and my emotions.  I am retraining my brain to know His love.  And once I am filled with that love, I am more able to be the person He made me to be.

Learning to Abide in Motherhood- His Heart

The second part of abiding in the middle of motherhood has been asking God to heal and grow my heart.  This probably seems simple, but for someone who has relied on her own lists, strengths and achievements, not making a plan to conquer something goes against my nature.  This last week, I was sharing a situation with my Bible Study group that I know intellectually I have made a choice to follow God.  My actions are in line with God’s word, but if I am honest, my emotions still feel yucky when I think about this situation.  I genuinely want my heart to be at peace and full of love, but I am just not really there. 

My leader reminded me that our process of sanctification doesn’t happen overnight.  I can continue to ask the Lord to change my heart and trust that in His time, He will do it!  So whatever situation feels yucky in the middle of your motherhood.  Keep praying and trust that God hears you.  He loves you.  As you continue to abide in Him, He will be faithful to grow and mature you. 

Now trust me, this is all a messy, imperfect process in my house.  I still try to live out of my own strength way more than I wish was true.  I am so very imperfect at this.  But I am so excited to get even a taste of walking with God in His love instead of in my duty.  And for maybe the first time, I can praise God because I believe His yoke and His way truly is easy and light.

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