Family Table Conversation Ideas

I think every parent has had the experience of sitting at the dinner table and wishing they had some great family table conversation ideas.  Maybe you have older kids that are reluctant to share about their days so it seems like they would be happy to just sit in silence.  Or maybe your house can be more like mine and the noise and scramble to be heard can feel like finger nails on a chalkboard.  One thing I have found is when I am more intentional about this time, it not only gives our family the ability to bond, but also gives my kids important practice at social and emotional skills!

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Why invest in table conversations?

Before we dive into the practical ways we make this happen in our family, I think we need to pause and remember why family table conversation is important!  First, this is an easy way to build family unity and community.  In our busy American lives it is easy to have our schedules so full that we don’t take the time to sit and hear the hearts and experiences of our family members.  Often our table conversations don’t get super deep, but sometimes someone does share about a struggle they had a school or a disappointment they had in another area of life.  These moments give us all the opportunity to see each other as the humble humans we are and to show love and kindness to the one who is in need.  If that doesn’t build your family community then I don’t know what will! 

Another big benefit of table conversations is that it gives our kids an opportunity to practice important social and emotional skills.  When we share our table conversation, I remind my kids that they are expected to be good listeners.  This means being quiet when it is not their turn, and responding appropriately after someone shares.  These may seem like simple expectations, but they are the building blocks to conversation and friendship!  In addition to these skills table conversations can teach kids the social skill of reciprocity.  We have one child who would talk the entire meal if they were allowed.  But working on reciprocity reminds this child that she should ask someone else to share their thoughts too!  There are so many more social and emotional skills I could mention, but I know you want to get to some practical ideas too! 

How to Invest in Table Conversations?

There are so many simple ideas you can use to improve your table conversations!  If I am honest we usually fall back on one of three games. 

1.  High/Low – I am sure you have done this as an adult before.  Everyone has to share one high spot in their day and and one low spot from their day.  This not only gives us a picture into someone’s day, but also allows us to model empathy. 

2.  Three Good Things- If I feel like we are in a negative slump (hello pandemic!) I may choose to have us play this table conversation game.  In this game each person cultivates gratitude by share three good things or blessings from their day.  It may be simple like a good snack or it may be more elaborate.  But the reminder is that we all have things to be grateful for every day! 

3.  The next conversation game we play is called Feel and Deal.  I wrote more extensively about this idea HERE.  But basically everyone has to go around and identify one feeling they had that day and why.  It can be a “good” feeling or a “bad” feeling.  This is such a great way to introduce body awareness and talk about how our body feels when different emotions come over us.  And we can continue to plant those seeds to self-regulating steps! 

4.  The final game we play would be specific table topic questions.  We tend to do these more at holidays or if significant change is coming.  One of my favorite people on Instagram, Sissy Goff, will often share these types of questions or you can find lots of examples like THIS one online!  Especially when change is coming these questions can help flush out honest feelings about what is to come!

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